Today it's been a pretty shitty day weather in Paris oh god.
So I thought well, let's britghen this all with very luminous colors of this end of August photoshoot!
Also, I'd like to chat about something (yes I know you're thinking what again is she gonna lecture us about haha): I told you I wanted to try some new way of dressing up right ?
Well, that's not only because I want to quit the vintage gal look I had; I of course want to preserve it for my grieving but I also forget to mention my body changed.
10 years ago now, I had some hard weight issues and was very slim even though it wasn't completely on purpose (of course it was, but at the time I didn't know about this). I never mention this in any conversation and even when I hear about eating disorder I never speak about me. Just like it never happened. But yes it did. And I know , whatever you do to your body it always keeps in mind everything. Your body is like a diary , so treat it well.
Easier to say than to apply I know.
During these 5 last years I haven't noticed I was changing.
Trying to vanish this old part of me, not to let it come back I started to be different; I started to have CURVES coming all around me. I was first a bit freaked out because I didn't know this girl but then I thought "oh thats very pin-up-ish!"
And yes , it is. So let me now, come back to 5 months ago, after living these 5 years in those curves, loosing my beloved it all came back again.
The first few days I haven't feed at all. I wasn't even sick. I knew that the most important when you don't eat is to at least drink. You then notice that Water is all our birth place and we couldn't live without.
But yes , indeed this feed less diet had to come to an end.
So I choose some new diet. Not so new I should say.
I didn't accept that I was becoming a vegetarian when I was with her (because I was always speaking of it in her name; and now that I think of it people must think that I never spoke for myself, shame no?) but yes I was. Now, I should maybe call me a pesci-vegetarian cause I still eat some fish, but no "bloody" meat in me anymore. I don't want to speak about the diet cause every diet is strictly private and I think those days too many people follow stuff that they think are cool but would perhaps regret it later, only to follow some trend.
So with this new way of eating, I lost weight, and lot of my muscles but I do have new ones coming...
I said goodbye to the big muscles (discreet but bigger though) that I had with red meat, and now I'm like we say in French "avec des muscles plus secs" meaning flatter and grease-less muscles haha.
This , influence on my whole body. I haven't been looking at my proper weight but only by sizing I was a UK 10 sometimes 12 and I now wear 6/8.
This is NOT at all a post about: wow I've done it, look at me, blabla. No it's about; I changed and I don't feel like the pin up clothes fit me anymore despite my ways of trying.
I feel more comfortable in a new style. It is sad a bit, it's a part of me going away.
But I'm pretty sure that if it's a real part of me , it won't go far.
Dress from PURRFECT KAT
Bag vintage thrift
Shoes: Celine Paris ; vintage
I leave you now with old pictures of me from The Tattoorialist book that you can order from la Fnac I believe, when you can see loads of tattooed personalities. Very interesting book I may add!
Photoshoot of the post by Cyril Sonigo