Hi Dears,
I hope you’re doing well, for me it’s not the easiest time of my life. I am on a break from work again…
Not because of work actually, this was the thing holding me lately but because I can’t deal with life and being social, outside of my home, my safety zone.
I am agaiiiin struggling with a breakup, but let’s not give too much attention to that, I also had to be a catsitter for two weeks and it just ended the last pieces of sociability I had left.
I wasn’t « forced »to catsit no, I voluntarily said yes, but because I thought I wouldn’t be alone to face it. So it was clearly more difficult to do it all by myself. I now, have more than ever the feeling of this thought I am already taking care of myself I can’t do it for another person, or even animal, nor plants I guess…
I wasn’t in my safe place, I didn’t like at all the apartment and the deal was to be closer to work, that was indeed more convenient…But when you don’t want to stay where you live… well…It wasn’t convenient at all !
I only wanted to get out of this place as often as I could so in the end I was sooo tired , I was commuting back and forth even more than if I’d stayed in my apartment in the suburbs…
Anyway, this was the most stupid engagement I have ever taken while I was in an manic episode ( the phase where you are going « up »: happy, excitement, more projects and blablabla).
I think I’ve learned my lesson. But on top changes happened in the shop, clearly defining how Dr Martens now looks like and I don’t know it just hit me.
Why ? Why following this stupid life if everything’s a battle? I am sooo tired.
Well, I’ll tell you why: because of your closed ones your family. Urgh. I insist on the « because of »and not « thanks to »because this Christmas just proved me how stupid we are just « to be there for them »cause its something we « should do »…
It litteraly drained me.
That being said, this a whole big unhappy mood as you can see.
I hope you’ll like the pictures though !
Love,
Lorna
xxx
Thanks to CCLV Photography for the amazing work 🌸
