Monday, November 03, 2014

Tomato Soup.

Today it's been a pretty shitty day weather in Paris oh god.
So I thought well, let's britghen this all with very luminous colors of this end of August photoshoot!
Also, I'd like to chat about something (yes I know you're thinking what again is she gonna lecture us about haha): I told you I wanted to try some new way of dressing up right ?
Well, that's not only because I want to quit the vintage gal look I had; I of course want to preserve it for my grieving but I also forget to mention my body changed.

10 years ago now, I had some hard weight issues and was very slim even though it wasn't completely on purpose (of course it was, but at the time I didn't know about this). I never mention this in any conversation and even when I hear about eating disorder I never speak about me. Just like it never happened. But yes it did. And I know , whatever you do to your body it always keeps in mind everything. Your body is like a diary , so treat it well.
Easier to say than to apply I know.
During these 5 last years I haven't noticed I was changing.
Trying to vanish this old part of me, not to let it come back I started to be different; I started to have CURVES coming all around me. I was first a bit freaked out because I didn't know this girl but then I thought "oh thats very pin-up-ish!"
And yes , it is. So let me now, come back to 5 months ago, after living these 5 years in those curves, loosing my beloved it all came back again.
The first few days I haven't feed at all. I wasn't even sick. I knew that the most important when you don't eat is to at least drink. You then notice that Water is all our birth place and we couldn't live without.
But yes , indeed this feed less diet had to come to an end.
So I choose some new diet. Not so new I should say.

I didn't accept that I was becoming a vegetarian when I was with her (because I was always speaking of it in her name; and now that I think of it people must think that I never spoke for myself, shame no?) but yes I was. Now, I should maybe call me a pesci-vegetarian cause I still eat some fish, but no "bloody" meat in me anymore. I don't want to speak about the diet cause every diet is strictly private and I think those days too many people follow stuff that they think are cool but would perhaps regret it later, only to follow some trend.
So with this new way of eating, I lost weight, and lot of my muscles but I do have new ones coming...
I said goodbye to the big muscles (discreet but bigger though) that I had with red meat, and now I'm like we say in French "avec des muscles plus secs" meaning flatter and grease-less muscles haha.
This , influence on my whole body. I haven't been looking at my proper weight but only by sizing I was a UK 10 sometimes 12 and I now wear 6/8.

This is NOT at all a post about: wow I've done it, look at me, blabla. No it's about; I changed and I don't feel like the pin up clothes fit me anymore despite my ways of trying.
I feel more comfortable in a new style. It is sad a bit, it's a part of me going away.
But I'm pretty sure that if it's a real part of me , it won't go far.

Bag vintage thrift
Shoes: Celine Paris ; vintage

I leave you now with old pictures of me from The Tattoorialist book that you can order from la Fnac I believe, when you can see loads of tattooed personalities. Very interesting book I may add!



Photoshoot of the post by Cyril Sonigo


  1. Change is good some times. I think being healthy can be a variety of things. I have lost some weight due to leaving the junk food alone more and taking better care. I didn't really have the vintage girl curves to begin with, but I am changing in styles a bit as well. As long as you are happy or on your way to happiness, this is what matters most. We evolve and change, I think it is the way it's meant to be really. You always look gorgeous to me, but as long as you think so, that is most important. Wish you a wonderful week from a chilly but sunny Scotland :) Xxx

  2. nice dress!@!


    new post

  3. I love how you approached telling this story. You seem very grounded in who you are now (and I agree with you, I could never give up fish even if I gave up meat!) Whoever you decide to be now, you are one stylish lady!

    Another Beautiful Thing

  4. Love your dress!! Eszter

  5. We all change, and as long as it's in the direction of happy, healthy choices, then isn't that a good thing? You look fabulous in these photos, but I truly hope that you feel it on the inside. True contenment in your own skin is one of life's most precious things, and I can relate to many things you touched on in your story. P x

  6. Congrats on the book mention! Also, love your dress, it creates such a beautiful contrast with your dark hair :)

  7. I want all your clothes please!
    Very cool dress :)

  8. Eeeee!!!!! Can you hear that sound all the way from over here in Canada? That's me squealing with happiness for you over being a part of this book, dear gal. Huge and uber joyful congratulations. You have unsurpassed style and truly deserve to be recognized time and time again for it.

    Tons of hugs,
    ♥ Jessica

    *PS* I wish I could clone your awesome tomato print dress. I have the biggest perpetual crush on fruit, vegetable and food in general themed clothing and accessories.

  9. I admire your honest post! I've just now discovered your blog and scrolled through to see some of your old outfits as well as your recent ones, and I have to say that you're very stylish and able to pull off a variety of different pieces! You just keep doing you! I'll be back often :)

  10. Hello!
    Your honesty is brave, your style is adorable and you are an amazing person! No matter what you do, as long as you are happy, you will glow from these pages.. so: I support you.


  11. Alors, c'est bête, et pas très profond par rapport à ce que tu as partagé la, mais moi je suis un peu triste de voir le style pin up s'en aller. Et pourtant, je te connais depuis très peu longtemps, mais ça t'allais si bien. Ceci étant dit, les looks plus modernes que je t'ai vu porter ces derniers temps te vont aussi hyper bien ! Je crois que quand on est jolie comme toi, on peut absolument tout porter ;) Alors, le style pin up est mort, vive le style pin up, et longue vie à pleins d'autres styles !

    1. Je comprends et quand je regarde mes photos vintage je les aime toujours autant. Mais ce que je voulais dire c'est que deja d'une part dans la vie bien sur on évolue on aime de nouvelles choses et moi dans ce cas là mes intérêts ont quelque peu changé, mais surtout mon corps a changé aussi et je pense qu'à part si je retrouve mes 10cm de tour de hanche en plus je vais garder mes robes dans un coin ... Parce que mes derniers shoot retro ou je flottais dans mes robes (dont celle ci que j'aime tellement et qui etait bien plus remplie il y a un moment) ca me met un peu mal... Qui sait peut être apres avoir eu une enfant je reaborderais le style pin up ? Haha we never know ;)


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