A break in my room

 

Hi Dears,

I hope you’re doing well, for me it’s not the easiest time of my life. I am on a break from work again…

Not because of work actually, this was the thing holding me lately but because I can’t deal with life and being social, outside of my home, my safety zone.

I am agaiiiin struggling with a breakup, but let’s not give too much attention to that, I also had to be a catsitter for two weeks and it just ended the last pieces of sociability I had left.

I wasn’t « forced »to catsit no, I voluntarily said yes, but because I thought I wouldn’t be alone to face it. So it was clearly more difficult to do it all by myself. I now, have more than ever the feeling of this thought I am already taking care of myself I can’t do it for another person, or even animal, nor plants I guess…

I wasn’t in my safe place, I didn’t like at all the apartment and the deal was to be closer to work, that was indeed more convenient…But when you don’t want to stay where you live… well…It wasn’t convenient at all !

I only wanted to get out of this place as often as I could so in the end I was sooo tired , I was commuting back and forth even more than if I’d stayed in my apartment in the suburbs…

Anyway, this was the most stupid engagement I have ever taken while I was in an manic episode ( the phase where you are going « up »: happy, excitement, more projects and blablabla).

I think I’ve learned my lesson. But on top changes happened in the shop, clearly defining how Dr Martens now looks like and I don’t know it just hit me.

Why ? Why following this stupid life if everything’s a battle? I am sooo tired.

Well, I’ll tell you why: because of your closed ones your family. Urgh. I insist on the « because of »and not « thanks to »because this Christmas just proved me how stupid we are just « to be there for them »cause its something we « should do »…

It litteraly drained me.

That being said, this a whole big unhappy mood as you can see.

I hope you’ll like the pictures though !

Love,

Lorna

xxx

Thanks to CCLV Photography for the amazing work 🌸

Grayish

Hi Dears,

It's June so:

Happy Pride Month 

It's been ages since I celebrated a Pride. Not that I will walk, I don't like walking down the streets anymore, if you do it with convictions that's understandable and legit but I feel too overwhelmed to get mixed in a big crowd, so I don't walk anymore.

Not that I don't feel proud , but it's true that lately it left me. From being a lesbian to dating men it makes you wonder a bit "am I legit?" "what's that fake in this story?" 

I still don't know. I know woke people would say, the most important is too feel ok with who you are. Yeah yeah. But in the end, if you havent been in our shoes you can't talk. 

We look heterosexual to people when in the end, changing our sexuality, changing our romanticism isn't it the queerest ?

And still we appear to be the more in the norm, so less legit to be part of the flag.

I don't really question myself anymore, I just wait and let it happen.

Thats how I figure out that instead of only speaking of het or homosexuality could we mention more of the gray-sexuality? The one when you don't really know. The one where you just let it happen or definitely don't let it happen. Cause it doesn't matter.

Could we consider us being a part of the queers one day ?

I don't feel like I am waiting for an approval anymore, but now that I stopped being angry about feeling rejection because I was suddenly not that interesting dating men, I just wonder.

And I can say, this year I am proud. I am proud to wonder, I am proud to change, I am proud to be able to feel what I feel for the person I chose.

Outfit:

Jacket thrift

Earring thrift

Top : Action

Belt and Capri Pants : Hell Bunny

Creepers: TUK

Thanks to Lara Guffroy for this pre summer series!

Love,

Lorna

xxx

 

Women dress

Wild heart

 

Hi Dears,

I had to share this as soon as I can !

I have a discount code for you 😍

15% off your order with : LORNA15

On all Retro-stage website !

So that being said, can we all take a moment to appreciate Ley's (Instagram: @theleyeahs)  photo of this amazing dress 🥲

It's funny cause the last time we did some pictures for the blog were nearly one year ago for the post (Impromptu) and at the same spot haha

No need to say it's in Bastille where we work together. I'm stunned to see how she improved herself and how much I continued to lost weight 😂

This was the final test for me to see if after all of my efforts I changed back to be a bit too curvy for me or not ... Last year (2021) I had already lost the weight of 2019/20 when I was really uncomfortable with myself so I was a bit afraid of that. But nope ! I'm ok ! I'm still not as thin as models could be ... but who cares ? I like to see that I have curves in the end.

The other day I was looking at some old pictures of the blog (around 2015) and wow, it shocked me. I looked sick 😥

Anyway, every time period has its Lorna as I always say.

That's life you know ! (aka Slughorn vibe if you know the ref)

Love,

Lorna

xxx

Outfit:

Dress: Retro-stage

Earring&socks: Shein

Shoes: Dr Martens, Dante

En rouge et noir

 

Hi Dears,

Let's start the week with this new series I made by a lovely and sunny day with Virginie.

We had lunch at a terrasse in Paris under the sun, it was a very peaceful and calm moment. Virginie has this smooth energy which makes you feel relaxed and always very caring about your desires on pictures ! 

I learned that she is now doing some phototherapy as a yoga instructor and I think that fits her so well ! She's very into every spiritual and chakra and all kind of energy, it's very interesting. I don't know everything about it and I stopped digging around this corner as I converted and I now leave more things to the suspense of life than I did before. But it's very interesting to learn about this as it can make you feel more connected to yourself, and more grounded too.

Wishing everyone a very good week !

Love,

Lorna

xxx

Outfit:

Dress : Timeless London

Belt: Hell Bunny

Shoes & Earring: Killstar

IMMACULATA

 

Hi Dears,

Still late on posting some photoshoots around here so here is the one I've done with Priscillia.

(hair&makeup by me 😌)

Today, was hot as hell in Paris and thunder is on its way right now, so I guess before posting any "summer shoots" I will finish on this darker one.

This last week had been crazy for me, too many information to process I'm feeling exhausted and drained from any remaining energy. Hoping the next one will be better.

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Love,

Lorna

xxx

Double Fire

 

Hi Dears,

I shot with my friend Linda the other day and did this really supernatural photoshoot !

This serie has a Kubrick vibe I can't explain why, perhaps from what I've seen on the movie covers, because I oddly never saw a movie from him. But Idk it really gives me this kind of atmosphere. A bit dreamy, a bit insane and spontaneous.

I'm wearing:

 my Scarlet Darkness dress and cape, which I've won from a giveway 😇

And these are my wonderfuuuul Killstar pumps 🖤

Love,

Lorna

xxx

women dress