Black and Bowie

Hello Dears,
And welcome to 2020 💫
I hope you all spent (or not) this new years eve the way you wanted it. I was invited by a lovely friend of mine, but actually was not able to make it through the transports on this day.
Why you'll ask ?
I don' know... I was all ready, I loved my make up, I even bought a bottle of wine (for someone who doesn't drink I went to seek for the one I like the most lol), I was on time and all ... But when I arrived at the station they changed the platform (to an unknown and unreachable one ?? why , why do you do that French rail service of my *** ___ hm sorry, lets continue)
and all the people were shouting and screaming (some of them maybe already in the mood of festivities..) and that just made me so anxious I couldn't breathe. First, they changed something , and I hate changes lol, and then the crowd ugh. I could have arrived later, took my time to search for the said platform, and went on another train. But it just made me feel so bad I had no other thing in mind that coming home.
But even then, I just felt so guilty... Not being able to go out like " a normal person " and sometimes I wish I could. I wouldn't lie, most of the times I'd rather stay home in my PJs. But not when I'm invited by people I like, I mean I really feel guilty afterwards.
Thanks to some people I finally cheered up a little, enjoyed a pizza and a cartoon before going to bed lol.
But I really wanna say that for those who could not understand me on this point, I think even if I'd described the problem in any sort of possible ways they won't understand because they are not able to feel the anxiety like I do. And hopefully for them ! I don't wish that to anyone.
But I need to start myself to accept that people will not understand me all the time.
And not waiting on them to be the way I would like them to be. Because they're not. And they will never be.

Outfit:

Headband by Stradivarius
Half Wig from AliExpress
Dress from Dresslily
Belt from Collectif Clothing
Sock , Happy Socks
Dr Martens Alt Bex

Love,

Lorna

xxx